you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
