i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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