i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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