Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
