It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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