Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
