Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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