I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
