so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize