My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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