So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
