No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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