I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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