oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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