He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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