I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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