the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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