Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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