he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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