oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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