No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize