why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
