you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
