im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
