some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
