she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
