I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
