...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize