wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
