you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize