Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
