Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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