Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
