Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
