Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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