it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
