my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
