I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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