What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
