I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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