Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Come see our sink grown plant.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sext me about skeletons
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
