On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
