I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
