That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
