i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
