all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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