yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i came on her dog
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
