You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
