ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
