Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
