she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
