I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
