You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Jerry, you need to find god
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
PANTIES FOUND
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