party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize