after a month anything with tits is on the radar
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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