I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
