ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
