i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Welp...herpes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm passing your future prison.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
