he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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