i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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