I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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