There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
