found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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