Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
