Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
