JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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