I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
