Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
