Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize