She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
