Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize