Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
