i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
