You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
