is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
