atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
